Fate Takes a Hand
by Becsy Lexi
Summary: AU Buffy and Angel meet once and fall in love. Will fate bring them back together? NEW CHAPTER YES REALLY!
1. A Flight to Remember

Disclaimer: No, nope, neigh, non, not mine! Belong to Joss. I'm just borrowing. Author's Notes: My first AU fic. No monsters or demons in sight! Summary: Buffy and Angel meet once and fall in love. Will fate bring them back together? Feedback: Oh yes please! I am open to suggestions and criticism as sometimes I get a block and can't write which explains my many unfinished fics and could explain infrequent future updates though I hope not. Lets see how I go.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Fate takes a Hand  
  
  
  
  
  
"Flight 389 to Los Angeles is now boarding at gate 7, will all passengers please ensure they have all of their personal belongings with them." I heard the announcement and felt a horrible sense of dread come over me. How was this supposed to go again? Oh yeah, I've got to get on a plane, which I hate doing, to go and visit my dying mother, oh yeah, easy. Well, I don't know for certain that my mom is dying, only that she is very sick. Or should we say sicker than she had been. Her cancer had been in remission for two years but now.it was only yesterday that my twin sister Faith had called in a nearly hysterical state about how mom had collapsed and was in hospital, again. The thing was, Faith was never hysterical, she was laid back, too much so at times but I'd rarely heard her, seen her like that. That was what was worrying, and that is why I am getting on a plane to go home three months before I finish my degree in psychology at NYU. The professors I'd been able to talk to had been understanding and hadn't put any pressure on me regarding my dissertation. Which was good, it was nearly finished anyway, that wasn't really the problem, I didn't know if I'd be able to come back if I get home and mom is as sick as it sounded like she was.  
  
  
  
The ticket was handed back to me and I made my way down the gangway. Finding my seat was easy as there weren't too many people in first class. I recollected with little amusement my conversation with the guy at the ticket desk.  
  
"I don't want first class though, I don't need first class; I just need a normal seat."  
  
"I'm very sorry miss but first class are the only seats available on our next flight to Los Angeles, if you would like a later flight."  
  
"No! That'll have to do I guess." I'd told him a little sharply; after all I needed to get home as soon as possible.  
  
  
  
I closed my eyes and wished for the plane to get going already. It's not as though I'm scared of flying, I don't particularly enjoy it but when I'm worried about one thing it makes me tense about everything. I felt a slight shift in the seat next to me as someone sat down. Please don't let it be a stinky talkative old guy. All I want is to try to relax as much as possible and I'm hardly going to be able to do that when some old fat guy is trying to chat me up.  
  
  
  
I suppose that presupposition was why I got the shock of my life when I opened my eyes to look at the new comer, to be greeted by the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen. I adjusted my eyes to take a look at the rest of this person. He was without a doubt the most gorgeous guy on the planet, or I thought so anyway. He was smiling at me and if I hadn't been so worried about mom my heart would have been doing flip-flops.  
  
  
  
"Hi." Say something back before he thinks you're really weird.  
  
"Hi." I replied, feeling totally stupid. But then at least I'd said something.  
  
"Don't like flying huh?" He asked good-naturedly. He seemed genuinely concerned and it was endearing. He did have the greatest smile.  
  
"Well, not today." I told him smiling despite my reasons for being on the flight in the first place.  
  
"Do you live in New York?" He asked, obviously interested in carrying on a conversation. Looking at him it was somehow impossible to not trust him. Whether it was his smile or something else about him, it instantly removed any reluctance I might have had about talking to him.  
  
"I'm at NYU, my home's in LA."  
  
"Really? What are you studying?"  
  
"Psychology, I'm nearly finished actually, thank god. It'll be such a relief."  
  
"I know what you mean, I felt the same way when I graduated."  
  
"What do you do?" It was difficult to resist talking to him. In fact it was difficult to control the immediate attraction I'd felt on seeing him. He cringed in a cute way before replying, so I tried to convince him to tell me. "Come on it can't be that bad."  
  
"Well, I only do that because most people don't like us." I nodded my head in realisation.  
  
"You're a lawyer." He nodded. "Well I don't think it's that bad, my sister wants to be one, I'm not sure why though."  
  
"How old is she?"  
  
"She's sixteen, I expect she'll change her mind before she goes to college anyway. Teenagers are like that."  
  
"Yes, I dimly recall." He said smiling. He can't have been more than thirty; he was definitely older than me. "So do you just have one sister?" He asked, for a second I wondered just why he was so interested but decided to not care. He was cute, very attractive and if he was interested in hearing about a load of boring stuff to do with my family that was fine by me.  
  
"No, there's Dawn, the one who's sixteen and I have a twin sister, Faith."  
  
"Really?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I really wouldn't have thought there could be anyone just as beautiful as you are." He commented. He seemed unaware that he'd said something so flattering as I blushed slightly at his knockout smile. Well maybe he was acting unaware, I mused, but maybe he just didn't want me to feel uncomfortable. He thought I was beautiful!  
  
"Well we're not identical, it's strange but we're like polar opposites. She's got dark hair and eyes and we're nothing-alike personality wise, except that we can both be very determined about stuff. Saying all that we love each other. Some twins hate the sight of one another but it's not like that with Faith and me. We're like best friends. I think Dawn sometimes feels a bit left out, or she did when we were younger. I guess Faith and I just have a twin connection that Dawn missed out on. I don't think she minds so much now anyway. I think it would have bothered her more if Faith and I were identical twins." Taking a second to look at him and his reaction or what I expected to be more like boredom, it was a bit surprising to see him gazing at me with an almost dreamlike expression on his face. I must have made him fall asleep! Whoops! "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on and on like that." He seemed to suddenly realise I was looking at him and went slightly red. Was he embarrassed? Why was he though?  
  
"Oh no, you weren't, I'm interested. Sorry for staring though." He said the last bit a little quieter than the first bit and at first I wasn't sure what he'd said. He was staring at me! He wasn't asleep; he was actually looking at me. It was difficult to know what to say so smiling at him a little was all that I could think of at the time. He seemed to relax again after that. His embarrassment must have made him uncomfortable but the conversation carried on, as before, there was no weirdness or hesitation. I know it sounds weird but it was almost as if we'd known each other forever.  
  
  
  
"So, do you have brothers or sisters?"  
  
"I have a sister, Katherine, Kat. She's probably about your age, she's twenty-one."  
  
"Hey, good guess, I am twenty-one. Are you guys close?"  
  
"We used to be, I don't get to see her as much as I used to. I travel a lot to meet clients and she's a nurse so she works what she likes to refer to as unsocial hours."  
  
"That's a pity, I mean with me being at college in NY it's hard to stay close to my family but we still are. You should see the phone bills from me and my sisters calling each other." He laughed along with me before the smile faded a little from his face.  
  
"I really should make the effort though, to see her." I nodded and smiled at him trying not to get distracted by thinking how good it would feel to kiss him. What is wrong with me? I don't know this guy, except; it felt like I did know him.  
  
"Are you close to your parents?" His expression immediately clouded over and I knew that there was something I was missing; regarding his parents, but I also knew it wasn't really any of my business so I gave him an easy out as to my question. "I'm sorry, it's not really my business." I tried to imagine trying not to talk to him for the rest of the long flight but a moment later found I didn't need to think about that. He took my hand in his and I turned to see him looking into my eyes like he could see beyond them.  
  
"No, I, I don't know why I feel like I can tell you but I can and I want to." I smiled back at him as he continued to hold my hand and I tried to ignore the strange tingly sensations that were running up my arm from his touch. I didn't want him to let go and he didn't. "My, our parents were killed in a car accident three years ago." I couldn't contain my involuntary gasp and I tried to imagine how it must have felt. Actually no I didn't want to know. There were too many chances that I was about to lose my mother and find out so I didn't want to think about it.  
  
"I'm so sorry." I gave his hand a little reassuring squeeze and he continued.  
  
"Kat was only eighteen, she was starting training as a nurse and put all of herself in her job. I think after the accident she wanted more than ever to help people. I was doing well at my law firm and I hadn't lived at home for a long time but after it happened I couldn't seem to let Kat out of my sight, or I didn't want to. I didn't want to lose her too. I moved back home because she was still living there and I think I drove her crazy. The big brother protectiveness really got to her after a while. We were very close really, it's just since we moved out and sold the house that we've grown apart. That was over a year ago."  
  
"I'm so sorry, I really can't imagine. You sound like you want to see more of your sister and if you don't mind being told by me, you should do. She's obviously very important to you and you wouldn't want to lose the family you have left." He looked at me before replying.  
  
"You're right, I let myself get caught up in my work and I shouldn't have done that. I'll make time for my family like you do for yours. I.."  
  
"You what?" I asked after a second more of silence, that was except for the whir of the airplane.  
  
"I don't know; it's like I know you but I don't. Thanks I needed a good kick up the butt." I laughed out loud and nodded my head. He was funny. He was funny and cute and gorgeous. Stop it! You hardly know him you silly girl, though like he'd just said, it felt like we'd known each other forever. Come on who believes in that sort of thing anyway? YOU DO! Okay, stupid annoyingly insightful subconscious, fine I do but it's all a little stupid to be musing over anyway. He's probably involved and hello, did you forget or something? Forget a certain boyfriend by the name of Riley Finn? Urggg yes I forgot. What was the reason you went out with him in the first place? Hard to remember isn't it? Shut up! You know I was already planning how to break up with him, the nice way. But then Faith called and now I'll have to leave it until who knows when. Oh why couldn't I have had the guts to do it when I'd first thought to a couple of weeks ago? You knew it wasn't working, you were absorbed in your work and he, well he just got annoying, got in the way, seemed suddenly all pathetic and needy and you so didn't need that. You still don't. You are such a coward Buffy Summers. I know I should have dealt with it there and then. Oh well I'll have to do it when I go back. If I go back.  
  
If I go back. Without warning the horrible truth of why I was on this flight suddenly came back to me multiplied by ten. How was it that I forgot? Oh yeah that gorgeous hunk of lawyer sat next to me. Unfortunately, remembering that only made me feel instantly guilty about forgetting to be worried about mom, even if it had only been about.an hour? Had we really been talking for that long? His voice brought me back to the plane with a disturbing jolt.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Huh?" Was all I could muster through the noisy chaotic emotions in my head.  
  
"Are you okay? Would you like a drink or something, you've gone really pale." It briefly registered that he sounded concerned about me again but the smile that wanted to break through to him was seized by worry and came out probably more like a painful grimace. I think he must have asked for some water because the next thing I knew was that he'd handed me a glass of beautifully cold crystal clear water and after having a small sip I felt a little better. A little less like I was going to be motion sick, though emotion sick was more of an accurate description. "Are you sick?" He asked, again his voice edged with concern. I shook my head unsure of how to answer but knowing I would tell him. Somehow. I needed to tell someone and he seemed like that right someone. He'd shared with me hadn't he well now it was my turn however much I didn't want it to be. I supposed that talking about it only made it more real and I was still trying to pretend it wasn't real at all. Though the very fact of my presence on this aircraft belied my supposed denial.  
  
"No, not really. I.it's difficult." He gave me a look that told me he was there and that he was listening. Somehow it gave me the strength to go on, even though my voice refused to not sound shaky. "The reason I'm going home, like three months before I finish at NYU is because.because my mom is sick, again, and we think, I don't know. We're not sure if she's going to make it this time." I let a couple of tears run down my face before wiping it with my sleeve. "I'm sorry," I glanced at him sideways, "How embarrassing am I? I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything." He immediately took my hand.  
  
"I'm not uncomfortable, why would I be? And you shouldn't be embarrassed, it's your mom for goodness sake, you're entitled to be worried and scared and upset. And you shouldn't ever feel the need to bottle things up. It's always better to be honest about our feelings, though it doesn't happen much does it?" I managed a weak smile.  
  
"No, it doesn't." After a little while, during which time I was feeling a bit better he turned to look at me. He must have thought I looked better.  
  
"The color's come back into your cheeks." I nodded numbly at him, knowing I really hadn't talked to him properly yet. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me quietly a minute later. I nodded.  
  
"I need to." He nodded in understanding. "Mom first got sick about two years ago. She was diagnosed with a brain tumour and everything seemed to fall apart. Dawn was only thirteen and I guess she just didn't understand as well as we could, not that that was a lot but you know. Dad left when Dawn was four so mom is all she's known and she just couldn't cope. Her grades fell, she hung around with the wrong crowd and got in a load of trouble. Faith and I had to look after her but we couldn't bring ourselves to discipline her. We couldn't help seeing our baby sister and that she was in pain and we couldn't seem to help."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"Me? Well, it was hard, horrible to see mom like that, for all of us. Faith and I would go through phases. Sometimes we would talk to each other and other times we wouldn't talk at all. Mom had an operation and chemo and after too many miserable months she went into remission and came home. Things got better, as better as they could, nearly back to normal. Dawn seemed better as well, she had mom back, we all did, but there was something that stayed with us, we all had fear now. Fear that we could lose her and though things weren't visibly changed, we had fear in all of us. I transferred to NYU after that. Mom's illness was too fresh for me to stay in LA so I left, mature huh? Faith couldn't leave she was still training to be a cop and Dawn had school. We needed our space though and now we're closer than ever, all three of us. I just hope that things could be different this time. I suppose that Dawn thought she couldn't talk to us because we were in our own world and she wasn't a part of it. I hope she knows that's not true now." I paused reflecting on my last words. "I just, I want to go home, that's why I'm on this plane but, I know it sounds horrible but I'm terrified of going back, of seeing her like that again I'm terrified of seeing my mom." I looked up and though I knew I should feel embarrassed about crying in front of a complete stranger, I didn't. It's an odd feeling to be totally comfortable with someone I hardly knew while it also felt like I'd known him for ages. He reached up and gently wiped my cheek and took my hand. "Sorry." The perfunctory apology slipped out despite not being embarrassed in front of him.  
  
  
  
"Don't be. Is it okay if I tell you what I think?" He really sounded like he was sincere and since he'd lost his parents I supposed that he knew how I felt. I guessed that was why I told him about mom.  
  
"Yeah, I don't mind."  
  
"I can tell that you love your mother and your sisters very much and I think it's just that you're afraid of losing her and that's perfectly normal, just don't let your fears get in the way of spending time with her and enjoying your time together, whatever happens. I know that death isn't different if it's sudden or sort of expected, the end result is the same and it's devastating. You just have to try and concentrate on your mother and the time you have with her now, however long it is, you never know what will happen. I know that you think that you won't be able to cope if anyone you're close to dies and believe me, it's horribly difficult but you'll deal, you have to and you'll get through it okay." I smiled a little, knowing that he was probably right; I just didn't want to face the possibility. But I would, when I got to LA. In the mean time I decided that since I had met what seemed like the greatest most gorgeous bloke on the planet that I would take advantage, figuratively speaking, though I certainly thought about other ways advantage could be taken. So we talked, and we didn't stop. I felt like I really knew most of everything about him, this included his girlfriend, damn, and the fact that he couldn't stand her anymore, yay! Sounded very similar to my problem with Riley, which he listened to as well. We talked so long and involved that we were oblivious to the time. Well, you know what they say about time flying.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was strange to look down and discover that we were still holding hands. It had felt, natural, simple, right. As if the other were in fact an extension of ourselves. It was almost painful when we had to get up and he dropped his hold of my hand.  
  
"So, can I see you?" He asked as he got both our bags from the above compartment, and despite the fact that we both had significant others. Even though they weren't ones we were looking to keep. And then an idea surfaced in my head and I smiled.  
  
"Why don't we leave it to fate?" He looked at me.  
  
"You believe in that sort of thing?" He obviously didn't. I shrugged,  
  
"I don't know, I didn't use to, it just came to me. Besides this way we'll know if, something's."  
  
"Meant to happen?" He finished for me and I nodded, smiling. "Okay, but." He handed me my bag that I took, waiting for him to continue. We both sat back down as he was getting in the way of some impatient people who wanted to get off the plane quickly. I for one wasn't jumping for joy at the prospect of what I would face when I got off the plane, but I would deal, like he'd told me.  
  
"But?"  
  
"But, I don't even know your name, if I just had your name. I don't know it might make it a little easier leaving it up to fate. Even if we both know that this isn't the time.for us." There was no arguing with that. I held out my hand,  
  
"Hi, my name's Buffy." He gently took my hand within his own. I couldn't help thinking that that was where it belonged. I smiled, as did he.  
  
"I'm Angel." I smiled at him quizzically before a nod from him assured me that that was his name. Buffy and Angel.  
  
They fit together all right, though I didn't say it out loud. Before I could think he pulled me forward and my lips met his in a soft chaste kiss that sent shivers down my spine. I wondered vaguely how a more passionate kiss would affect me. It was over relatively quickly but for some reason I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from his. Those deep pools of chocolate brown, I'd have probably gotten (willingly) lost in them if a woman hadn't cleared her throat to talk to us. I think it was one of the hostesses.  
  
"Sir, Miss, could you please leave the plane now?" I reluctantly looked at her and both of us realised that all the other passengers had got off the plane. When Angel looked back at me he grinned.  
  
"Whoops."  
  
"Yeah." I replied somewhat sheepishly.  
  
"I guess that's our cue to leave." He got up and once again picked up his carry on bag. I did the same but after getting out into the aisle found I couldn't go any further. The worry and everything else had suddenly come back to me in full force and when Angel turned round to see why I wasn't moving it was very hard not to burst into tears right there. I knew I couldn't though; I had to be strong, for my sisters if not for myself.  
  
"Buffy?" His voice was full of concern and I found it hard to believe I'd only met him hours ago. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted it so our eyes connected again. "It'll be okay." He said very gently. I really wanted to believe him but something told me everything was about to change.  
  
"What if its not?" I asked, afraid of the answer.  
  
"Then you and your sisters will still be okay. It will be hard and painful and heart breaking but you will be okay. I know. And I know you." I smiled in spite of my fears; he did know me, even after only a few hours. "You'll deal and you'll help your sisters. You're a good person Buffy and this will not break you. You hear me?" I nodded and for a brief second he let his hand caress my cheek. A cough from behind us said the hostess was back and we finally got off the plane. As we walked to the door he let go of my hand, which I hadn't even realised he'd been holding again and put it on my shoulder. As I saw my sisters I put my hand on top of his and turned my head to look at him before he smiled reassuringly and walked off in the opposite direction.  
  
When I was hugging Faith and Dawn I saw that he'd waited a little longer and was standing a little way off. It gave the opportunity to gather some more strength for what was or was not going to happen. Closing my eyes I worded a silent thank you in his direction and when I opened them again he was gone. My sisters and me went to collect my bags and Faith began to tell me about mom.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tbc...  
  
  
  
Okay guys, I'd love some feedback before I post the next part. Pretty please?  
  
-Becca. 


	2. Endings and Beginnings

"Mom's at Memorial again." Faith told me as we lugged my bags into the car.  
  
  
  
"Are we going straight there?"  
  
  
  
"That's the plan."  
  
  
  
"She's been very quiet." I said as I gestured to Dawn who was walking a way behind us down the seemingly endless stinky hospital corridor.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, she's been like that since, we found mom at home. I thought we could talk to her together at home, after the doctors tell us something useful." I nodded.  
  
  
  
"They've still only said that it might be a reoccurrence of the cancer?" I glanced backwards towards Dawn but she was too far behind for her to hear and for me to gage her reaction.  
  
  
  
"No, they're still doing tests and everything. Mom's going to be so pleased to see you, she doesn't know you're coming." But before I could ask why Faith pointed out mom's room and we walked towards mom and what was possibly going to be the culmination of our worst fears.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
FIVE YEARS LATER.  
  
  
  
"Dawn, are you ready yet? You're going to be late, your plane leaves in three hours, we need to go now." Faith shouted to Dawn upstairs.  
  
  
  
"I'm coming mom." She shouted back as she bounded down the stairs and nearly crashed into her numerous suitcases that were obstructing the hallway. As we loaded up the car with all her stuff I marvelled at how far we'd all come since mom's death just under five years ago. No one would ever have heard Dawn or any of us make a comment like that for a long time after it happened, it was still too painful, but it got better, we cannot forget but the hurt is a lot less now. And now Dawn is going off to Harvard Law after graduating from UCLA with honours.  
  
  
  
"Mom would have been so proud of you, we're so proud of you." I told her as we hugged goodbye at the terminal gate.  
  
  
  
"I know; I love you guys."  
  
  
  
"And we love you." Faith said emotionally.  
  
  
  
"Hey, I thought we said no crying." Dawn said, attempting to sound authoritative.  
  
  
  
"I know, I know,"  
  
  
  
"We're going to really miss you is all." I carried on from Faith.  
  
  
  
"Well I'm going to call you loads, we can have those three way conversations like we used to and I'll be back for Christmas."  
  
  
  
"We actually have a surprise for you about Christmas." I told her as Faith and I exchanged excited glances.  
  
  
  
"What? What is it? Tell me!" Dawn exclaimed instantly excited as well, I often have to remind myself she's twenty-one now, she often acts nothing like it. I looked at Faith to say that she could tell her.  
  
  
  
"Well, you don't have to come home at Christmas," She nodded at me to continue.  
  
  
  
"Because we're coming to Boston to spend Christmas there with you." Dawn's eyes went wide and I think she would have started jumping up and down in excitement if we weren't in a busy airport terminal. Jumping up and down was kind of our thing when we were enthused.  
  
  
  
"That's so great you guys."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, it'll be great, we'll get to see each other and spend Christmas in Boston, very cool, you'll have to show us around."  
  
  
  
"I haven't even got there yet!"  
  
  
  
"No, and I think you better get going, that woman over there is giving us looks and looking at her watch, not very subtle."  
  
  
  
"You're right," Dawn said as she gathered her carry on bag and we all hugged again. "Bye guys love you."  
  
  
  
"And we love you." We told her as she walked towards the plane and boarded.  
  
  
  
"She'll be okay sis." Faith said as we watched the plane take off.  
  
  
  
"I know, still can't stop worrying though, but I know she'll be okay."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, she will. So what are you doing for the rest of the day?" Faith asked me as we got in the car again.  
  
  
  
"Well since I've got the day off from work, I thought I'd go into the office to go through some paperwork I've been putting off." At my reply Faith sighed and leaned across and stopped me starting the car.  
  
  
  
"Buffy,"  
  
  
  
"What?"  
  
  
  
"This really has to stop you know."  
  
  
  
"What has to stop?"  
  
  
  
"You have to stop working so much, you seem to have forgotten how to relax have some fun."  
  
  
  
"I have fun."  
  
  
  
"Oh yeah when?" She asked me wearing a very sceptical expression.  
  
  
  
"I, go out, sometimes."  
  
  
  
"Right, that's why you were at home last Saturday night instead of going out with me or Willow like she asked you."  
  
  
  
"Well, I was busy."  
  
  
  
"You were not, what changed Buffy? You used to go out all the time."  
  
  
  
"Look, maybe I was going out a bit too much you know, and maybe I'm making up for it now, and just maybe I'm fed up with ending up with useless guys. I'm happy being single at the moment, I do not need a guy to validate me so I don't see the need to go out with all the losers that California has to offer 'cause that's what it was feeling like." I told her slightly forcefully.  
  
  
  
"So you thought you'd leave it to fate?"  
  
  
  
"Something like that."  
  
  
  
"Ugh whatever, but you're not going to work, we're going shopping since I'm not on shift until tonight, and we are going to have a lot of fun. We can look for dresses for that charity auction I have to go to because you're coming too."  
  
  
  
"Is that an order?"  
  
  
  
"It certainly is." I finally started the car and headed towards the mall.  
  
  
  
"At least this way I don't have to think up an excuse for not going out with Riley, I'm running out of them, he just doesn't seem to take the hint." Faith rolled her eyes at me for the hundredth time regarding Riley.  
  
  
  
"I just don't think you must have broken up with him properly."  
  
  
  
"Oh, I did so! I made it very clear and he understood."  
  
  
  
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow at me, clearly dubious.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, I just think he's kind of gradually come to forget, somehow. I don't know how."  
  
  
  
"I just think he's come to ignore what you said."  
  
  
  
"No, well maybe, he really seems to have talked himself into believing that there's still something between us, or that there's something between us again. How am I going to get rid of him?"  
  
  
  
"I think you should be completely straight with him, be brutal, there's no other way and be quick about it, or I'll have to do it for you."  
  
  
  
"I will; it's not just you that can't stand him you know."  
  
  
  
"I seem to remember a time when you couldn't stop talking about him, weren't you in lurve?" She made a dreamy face while fluttering her eyelashes.  
  
  
  
"Shut up, FYI I haven't loved him like that for at least five years, longer if I really admit it. In fact I don't think I did originally."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but while we're on the subject of guys why don't you let me set you up on a blind date for the ball."  
  
  
  
"There's no way, I will occasionally accept a blind date when I am feeling desperate you know having not had a date in ages but no way for a ball, I'd be stuck with them for the whole night."  
  
  
  
"Fine, I don't know why you're being like this, there isn't anything wrong with a bit of fun you know."  
  
  
  
"Yes but it doesn't have to involve guys sis."  
  
  
  
"You sure about that?" Faith asked before both of us burst out laughing so hard we had to leave the store we were in.  
  
  
  
"Can't you just leave it alone?" I asked her a little later.  
  
  
  
"Fine, for now anyway."  
  
  
  
We got back home a little later after spending too much time and money at the mall. Faith was nearly late for her shift while I had the house to myself for the first time in a very long time. Dawn had been living at home for the last year of her degree course and Faith was still living here despite claiming she'd like a place of her own. I felt that way sometimes, like Faith I often wished for a place by myself but it was also a good feeling to stay here. It wasn't actually the home we'd shared with mom, after a while and a lot of thought we sold the house after mom died. We loved it there and we did have our memories of her there but we all felt that we needed a new start and this house came as part of that. It's full of the memories Faith, Dawn and I made as a family so it is difficult to think of moving again. I think Faith feels the same, which is why she doesn't move out. I also have this wish that if I was to ever move out without either of the others, I'd like it to be with a guy. In all honesty there is a guy that I imagine in that place with me, a guy that I have not stopped imagining for five years. A time after mom died I was able to think of other things again and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Then I got a grip and realised it was useless to fantasise about a guy that I would most likely never see again. But he's still there; so while I live mostly in the real world, he's still there in that house with me, taking on the role and face of my soul mate.  
  
  
  
Unfortunately, Faith's idea of leaving the subject of me and my love life alone 'for now anyway' meant that she brought it up the following Monday over dinner.  
  
  
  
"You've been different ever since you came back from university." I looked at her, she continued to refuse to let the topic lie, but then I shouldn't have really expected anything else.  
  
  
  
"That was five years ago Faith! And hello, we were all different, we had to deal with mom's death remember?" I sniped. Faith was silent for a minute.  
  
  
  
"Okay then, you were different afterwards, it wasn't hard to realise. You'd broken up with Riley."  
  
  
  
"Which you were happy about," I interrupted her,  
  
  
  
"Yes, but it's like you were refusing to go out with guys because you suddenly believed in all that soul mate crap, when I know you didn't before. You didn't even give those blind date guys any chance. You treated then like escorts and nothing else."  
  
  
  
"That's because they were escorting me places, I wasn't going to go out with them properly. They weren't.right." I finished after finding the right word.  
  
  
  
"You mean they weren't the right one, you're still thinking about that guy on the plane aren't you?" She asked, knowing that she didn't really need the answer from me to know she was right. I sighed, I knew that when I originally told Faith about Angel she would blow it off as a good plane ride considering the circumstances and nothing else. She didn't believe in fate, destiny, and soul mates. She was just happy with a decent, good- looking guy, and there was nothing wrong with that, I used to be the same. But after I met him, it was different.  
  
  
  
"So?" I asked her, acknowledging that she was right; I was still thinking about him.  
  
  
  
"You've got to let go B! You're never going to go out again if you don't stop thinking about this guy who you've turned into Mr Perfect Soul Mate. You've got to move on, or else do something about it so that I don't have to put up with you having no life and feeling guilty for having one myself." I turned to look at her. "Besides what kind of girly name is Angel anyway?" She asked, clearly not yet tired with her often-repeated question about Angel's name, which I chose to ignore this time.  
  
  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked her, a little puzzled. My mind is often a little slow after a long day at work. Especially after dealing with several troubled, difficult teens.  
  
  
  
"About what part? Angel's girly name?" She asked grinning like a Cheshire cat. I gave her a look, before answering.  
  
  
  
"Doing something about it? What did you mean?"  
  
  
  
"I mean that if you're so obsessed you might as well channel that energy into trying to find him and at least then you could have some sort of closure if he isn't the guy for you. And if he is, well that's a bonus, either way you win and you get to move on, however you do it." I looked at her something akin to awe, why had I not thought of this sooner?  
  
  
  
"You're right, I should do that; his name isn't much to go on though."  
  
  
  
"Yeah but you know he's a lawyer right?" I nodded. It was a start.  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in a club across town two guys sat at the bar. One looked perfectly at home amongst the smoky alcoholic atmosphere particularly since his hand seemed to be permanently attached to a small bottle of whiskey; whilst his mostly silent companion looked as if he would be having a better time if he was cleaning his toilet.  
  
  
  
"Come on man, you could at least pretend to have a good time, you're depressin the hell outta me." He spoke with a faint Irish brogue and took another swig of his whiskey. His friend glanced sideways at him but made no reply and went back to looking into his drink like it held the answers to the world.  
  
  
  
"Glass half empty?" He joked, and laughed, evidently used to laughing at his own jokes when no one else did so. Again his dark friend glanced at him this time giving him a very dark look. "Fine, I'm just tryin to liven things up here since you refuse to even look at the many gorgeous women that surround us." This time his friend turned around.  
  
  
  
"I don't see you doing anything about all these gorgeous women here Doyle." He told him irritably.  
  
  
  
"Ah well, I only have eyes for one."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, shame she won't even look in your direction." Doyle scowled saying nothing, if wasn't as though he could deny it.  
  
  
  
"You really need help Angel mate." Doyle told him after a minute.  
  
  
  
"I need help?" He exclaimed, showing more animation in three words than he had in the last hour. "I'm not the one who's been trying unsuccessfully to get Cordelia to go out with me for the past however long."  
  
  
  
"She's special man, and I need hardly remind you of what you need help with. A certain blonde chick you met five years ago? At least my fantasy woman is within reach."  
  
  
  
"You wish."  
  
  
  
"Well, at least I can see her every day and try to win her, the way you describe Becky you'd think she was all in your head, almost as if you made her up?"  
  
  
  
"Her name is Buffy and she's perfectly real." Angel almost growled at him.  
  
  
  
"Yeah man whatever, this just isn't healthy, brooding over her long gone self day in and day out. What kind of name is Buffy anyway?" He asked, for what was probably the hundredth time. It certainly wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation. The glare he got in response was enough to know he shouldn't have asked the question.  
  
  
  
"I don't brood all day." He muttered angrily and turned back to stare at his glass and.think. Not brood.  
  
  
  
"You could at least try and find the girl. At least then you could get over her once and for all, I mean if it isn't sad enough to brood over a relationship that's long gone but to brood over a plane journey and one kiss, even if you say she's the girl of your dreams.."  
  
  
  
"I never did say that." Angel cut him short.  
  
  
  
"You didn't need to man."  
  
  
  
"What did you mean, try and find her?"  
  
  
  
"Just what it sounded like. We don't work at one of the most prominent law firms in LA for nothin you know." Angel looked so happy he might have kissed Doyle for the idea while he mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. His appearance was so changed Doyle had almost forgot what he looked like when he wasn't brooding.  
  
  
  
"A name isn't much to go on is it?" He asked slightly anxiously a second later. Doyle didn't look worried.  
  
  
  
"Didn't you say she was a psychologist or something?" Angel nodded. "Besides which, how many people have the name Buffy?" He joked again; grinning at Angel's less than amused expression.  
  
  
  
"Well, it's somewhere to begin."  
  
  
  
  
  
Tbc....  
  
  
  
Thanks for those that gave me review/feedback via email. It's always encouraging to know people are reading and liking it. Okay guys; tell me what you think, second part okay? Come on, I love feedback, it's like a drug, not that I'd know. : )  
  
  
  
- Becca 


	3. Look Harder and You Might See

3. Look Harder and You Might See  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was all very well talking about looking for him, but as it turned out, talking about it was much easier than the actual action of looking. It was three months after my decision to look for Angel and I hadn't turned up diddly squat. I had used all the means I could think of to search for him. Faith was saying that I wasn't trying hard enough but there wasn't much more I could do with the first name Angel other than search on the Internet and look for lawyers that practised in LA and, a last ditch attempt, in phone directories but even then some first names weren't even present. I was beginning to think that Angel was a nickname or that he hadn't given me his real name at all. I was convinced that the latter of those was wrong, call me a romantic but I was sure I'd felt chemistry and that he had felt it too, so that was why I didn't believe that he would have lied. But, maybe Angel was a nickname, I mean, how many guys get called Angel, past or present, even Faith acknowledged that there must be very few.  
  
"Morning." Faith greeted me at 11:30am one Friday in early December.  
  
"Only just." I said, not looking up from the file I was going over.  
  
"Yeah, speaking of the time, why aren't you at work?" She asked while toasting some bread that would inevitably end up burnt.  
  
"I have the day off remember? I haven't got any appointments so I thought since we're going out tonight that I'd have a day at home." I told her, still not looking up.  
  
"Yeah, looks like you're having the day off." Faith said sarcastically, her back to the toaster, the telltales smoke issuing forth.  
  
"Huh hum," I told her nodding my head at the incinerated bread.  
  
"Oh shit." She said before getting rid of it and putting some new bread in and watching it this time.  
  
"Predictable as always." I muttered; Faith shot me a nasty look.  
  
"You looking forward to the Christmas ball tonight?" Faith asked a little later. I looked up this time, and didn't reply. "No?" I sighed.  
  
"I was looking forward to it until last week." I told her, not leaving the edge out of my voice.  
  
"You make it sound like it was my fault or something. Fact is Riley invited himself along, I didn't do it."  
  
"No, but you had more to do with his coming than I did. I wasn't even going to mention it; it wasn't his business was it? But then you had to open your big mouth and say something, who knows for what reason and he went and misunderstood, he thought I was too shy to ask him and that you were doing it for him."  
  
"You should be blaming Riley then, not me."  
  
"I am blaming him, I'm just blaming you too." I told her before trying to concentrate on the file I had been reading.  
  
"I think it's time you took drastic measures sister."  
  
"What do you suggest? I once thought we could move but we did that once already and he found us, even though I didn't tell him."  
  
"Yeah, that was a bit mean of you."  
  
"You just said, drastic measures." She laughed at me, not an altogether rare occurrence.  
  
"I know, but we can't move this time. I think that maybe if you 'broke up' with him in a public place he can't get all, angry and stuff." She said, using air inverted commas for 'broke up'.  
  
"You think? I don't know I just wish it wasn't necessary to do it at all."  
  
"It wouldn't be if he wasn't so dumb." Faith pointed out, well obviously.  
  
  
  
Well, his dumbness aside, I still had to separate myself from him finally and properly this time. I had this horrible feeling that if I didn't do it now I'd never be able to get rid of him. It seemed a somewhat familiar situation.  
  
I had been looking forward to Faith's Christmas ball; I'd got my dress a couple of weeks ago. I'd fallen in love with it immediately and I was glad I wasn't going to be hanging on some guys arm all evening. I had been going with Faith and we were going to have a girl's night out but then this cop in a different precinct had asked her and then she'd practically invited Riley to come with me. Well, I reasoned, I broke up with him once hadn't I? It was just galling to have to do it again, when; at least as far as I was concerned, I wasn't even dating him and hadn't been for over five and a half years. I just knew it was going to hang over my head all evening and spoil what would have otherwise been a good night out. Oh well, maybe I could break up with him at the entrance and dump him there.  
  
Then I could spend the rest of the evening having some fun while working out better ways to find Angel.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in a large building across town, a tall dark brooding lawyer sat staring out of the window of his luxury office. His companion, a fellow lawyer entered and seeing his colleague's reverie, knew he had to say something.  
  
"Hey man, cheer up, it's not the end of the world." Angel said nothing to this, instead pretending that he had heard nothing. Doyle tried again. "Maybe you could try looking in another place, maybe she doesn't live in LA anymore." Angel shook his head, this time acknowledging Doyle's presence.  
  
"No, she's here."  
  
"I don't see how you can know that."  
  
"I just know." He paused, thinking again. "Maybe, maybe she isn't called Buffy, maybe it's not her name after all. But then I'm sure she wouldn't have lied to me. What do you think Doyle?"  
  
"I don't think she would tell you her name was Buffy if it wasn't, you just couldn't make up that name man."  
  
"I guess not." There was a knock at the door. "Come in." Angel's secretary came in and deposited several files on his desk. Doyle was grinning like a Cheshire cat while she seemed to be making an effort to pretend he wasn't there.  
  
"Mr O'Connor, you have one more appointment, this afternoon, an interview with a Mr Asher about the new case and then you are free for the rest of the day."  
  
"Thanks Cordelia."  
  
"Have a good time at that Christmas ball tonight sir." She told him before closing the door behind her. Angel was puzzled for a second before he remembered.  
  
"The LAPD Christmas ball, I forgot about it." He said, wishing that he hadn't been volunteered to represent his firm.  
  
"Yeah." Doyle said, though not listening but staring at the door wishing he could see through it.  
  
"Weren't you going to ask Cordelia to that ball?" Angel asked smiling. Doyle just scowled at him. "Fine, sorry I asked." Angel said, knowing that if he said anymore Doyle would go off in a huff and drink too much at the ball. Well, he'd probably do that anyway.  
  
"If I got Cordelia to go with me you'd be by yourself so I thought it wasn't really fair."  
  
"Right." Angel said, laughing at him. Doyle was nothing if not entertaining.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Maybe I'm just not looking in the right place." Angel said suddenly, later when they met to go to the ball.  
  
"Huh?" Doyle asked, though unnecessarily. "Oh, man can't you stop thinking about her for one night? You might meet someone tonight, you never know."  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
"Well if you have that kind of attitude you definitely won't."  
  
"Yes well I don't want anybody but her."  
  
"Like I don't know that. You're hopeless." He told him shaking his head while straightening his tie.  
  
"Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough." Angel said to Doyle, who wasn't listening anymore, or it could have been just to himself, having chosen to not hear Doyle's last comments. That's it, he told himself, and as they entered the hotel where the ball was being held, Angel's mind was elsewhere. He was fully prepared to have an evening full of thinking about Buffy and thinking about Buffy and thinking of better ways to find her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
More as soon as I can! Feedback? Hehe! 


	4. Yes and No

I know this has been a while in coming but it took me way longer to write it than I expected. Also, the next part might also take a while; I have stupid final year study stuff. But you never know when I might go for a distraction from college. I like distraction.  
  
Thanks for all the feedback; it's like chocolate, my brain food.yummy.  
  
  
  
  
  
4. Yes and No  
  
(The Christmas Ball)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Buffy, you look great." Faith told me as we surveyed each other's dresses.  
  
"So do you." I told her, though she shook her head, ever disbelieving of her beauty. Not that I wasn't, she just had a harder time accepting compliments.  
  
"We're going to be late." She said, though there was little evidence in her voice that she cared.  
  
"I don't care, maybe if I wait long enough Riley will piss off home." Faith grinned at me. "I know, it's unlikely, he'd probably stand there until judgement day if he thought he'd get anywhere with me." At least, that's been my experience.  
  
"Come on B, it won't be so bad. We'll get there, you'll let him down after a couple of drinks and then you can have some fun."  
  
"Yeah, just so long as he doesn't have so many drinks that he doesn't remember."  
  
"Right, you'll have to watch that, get it over quickly before he has too much to drink." She smiled supportively and we made our way downstairs.  
  
  
  
  
  
As it happened, luck was not in attendance with me at the ball and my plan to dump Riley after a drink or two had not gone to plan, as I had wanted. And lets face it as Faith and Willow and everyone else seemed to want it to. It was amazing to me how one guy who had seemed so harmless and sweet had turned into the most annoying and pathetic cling-on imaginable. At least everyone else thought so too and I didn't feel guilty about dumping him again, or lets say, trying to get rid of him. It really wasn't my fault he had chosen to believe we were an item again.  
  
  
  
We had all met up at the ball, since Faith was nice enough not to leave me to get picked up by Riley so I could spend as little time as possible with him. Unfortunately, she couldn't help me when we got there and he took me off away from Faith and her date Danny. He purposely separated me from my sister and her date just so he could talk about some boring Iowa town or something. I wasn't really listening having switched off after the words Iowa and farm passed his lips. He looked so taken with himself and his chosen topic of conversation and for some reason I chose not to interrupt him. Well actually it was because standing there pretending to listen to him was easier than telling him to leave me alone, forever.  
  
  
  
What was worse was everyone else seemed to be having such a great time. Faith sure was, I could just see her out of the corner of my eye dancing and smiling. She must really like that guy. Or it just felt like everyone else was having fun since I was having such a sucky time. Everyone else was dancing or talking and drinking, well I was drinking too but it was just so I didn't go completely crazy listening to Riley.  
  
  
  
I was so glad when Faith came to take me away on the pretence of going to the bathroom. Riley looked so disappointed he couldn't come with us.  
  
  
  
"You haven't done it yet?" Faith practically shouted, scaring the other woman in the bathroom so much she didn't even wait to dry her hands. We giggled and I realised just how stupid I was being. It wasn't difficult really, and it was only Riley.  
  
  
  
"No, but I'll do it right before we have dinner." I told her as we re- emerged into the ballroom.  
  
  
  
"Hey Buffy, you want to dance?" Riley asked not waiting for an answer and taking my hand. For some unknown reason I didn't stop him. The dance floor was as good a place as any.  
  
  
  
"Riley," He moved his head to show he had heard me. At least that was something.  
  
  
  
"I don't think we should."  
  
  
  
"What?" He interrupted. I looked at him, annoyed. He was making this as difficult as possible. I tried again.  
  
  
  
"Riley, I don't want to see you."  
  
  
  
"Oh Buffy look everyone's going in to eat. Come on." He pulled my hand and I went with him, conveniently ignoring what I had said. This was taking way too long considering it had never been a serious thing.  
  
  
  
As he pulled me along, unaware of my pissy mood I bumped into a two guys in tuxes obviously on their own way to the banquet hall.  
  
  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry." I said quickly before Riley walked further and I tried not to collide with anyone else while I tried to catch their eyes to smile my apology. I didn't get to as I moved forward again suddenly but my last glance behind me at them left me with a strange jolt of recognition. Now the fact that I was recognising someone wasn't what was weird, I knew some of the people that Faith worked with and some lawyers and police psychologists but it wasn't any of them that I thought I'd seen.  
  
I thought I'd seen Angel.  
  
  
  
  
  
I suddenly stopped walking pulling my hand away from Riley's, and wondered why I hadn't done that before while I looked around the still milling crowd. I couldn't see him and it occurred to me that I'd probably just imagined it was he, just wishful thinking. How much would I love being here with him? The question didn't need an answer; they never did when it concerned Angel. They were no-brainers.  
  
  
  
"Buffy." Riley said, almost whining. I had never wanted to do anything less than I did right now when I faced at least an hour of eating while sitting with Riley. I felt unsurprisingly the least hungry I had ever felt despite the glorious array of food on offer. At least I had Faith to provide some relief since we were sat together.  
  
She gave me a look when we sat down that said 'why haven't you told him to get lost yet?' and I gave her one back that told her I had tried. She also seemed to get that I wanted to talk to her but I obviously couldn't start talking about Angel when Riley was sat right next to me, it would just make things harder.  
  
  
  
  
  
When we were finished I refused to move away from Faith and I was grateful he finally conceded to staying put. It wasn't the first time that I'd thought Riley was a little scared of Faith and I wished I had the courage to just tell him to go jump already!  
  
I was still looking around for Angel but I was beginning to believe I'd just imagined him. It was the more likely of the two explanations since I wished so vehemently that he was with me rather than Riley the doof.  
  
It seemed that Riley wasn't too impressed with my non-committal answers to his questions and whatever he'd been saying, it seemed he was suddenly aware that he wasn't the centre of my attention while I took no trouble to hide the fact that I was looking around the place for a certain tall dark handsome soul mate. Okay exaggerating yes but not about how Riley was trying to get my attention again. It was making me so mad at him that I didn't think about it when he said my name in that whiney manner he had.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
And responded the only way anyone would if they were in the same position.  
  
"What!" I shouted at him, not caring about the large number of people that immediately looked in our direction.  
  
He looked predictably hurt and I couldn't have cared less. I really couldn't. I stared at him; positive that the petulant look I was giving him was just like when I'd fought with Mom when I was a teenager. Faith was looking quite pleased that she was going to witness the next scene where I was going to dump him.  
  
  
  
"Buffy, did I do something to upset you?" He asked concerned that he had. I really wanted to laugh but thought I'd do that after.  
  
  
  
"Riley." I started and then decided to go for it. "Yes, you have upset me, in a way." I told him, and the numerous persons that were now listening. I'm sure we were like a formal clad soap opera. His face was priceless, he seemed eager to know what it was and how he could make it up. He was so not the subtlest person on the planet.  
  
  
  
But before I could get the words, 'Riley I want you to leave me alone from now on like you should have done since I broke up with you five and a half years ago.' He did something that I don't think anyone was expecting.  
  
  
  
He knelt down on one knee.  
  
  
  
Was he doing what I was afraid he was doing?  
  
  
  
Oh my life, he was! He was half kneeling on the floor in front of me, with everyone around us watching with great interest. It was just like a soap. And out came the box out of his pocket. I didn't know whether it was funny or infuriating. I was mad at him, I wanted him out of my life and his solution to whatever he had thought was the problem between us was to propose.  
  
  
  
Oh yes, you see, there he's opening the box and there's the ring and he's offering it up to you with this very pleased look on his face like you've said yes already and he was the cat that got the cream or something. Oh shit. How the heck was I going to deal with this?  
  
  
  
"Buffy." He said, hardly able to contain himself.  
  
  
  
"Riley." I said in a very warning tone of voice that was meant to get his attention. It did, though barely. The smile slipped a little from his face, though not completely.  
  
  
  
"Buffy." He was going to try and say it. I had to stop him before this got out of hand. I knew that it was very possible that the next time I saw Riley he would think we were engaged if I didn't deal with it now.  
  
  
  
"Riley." I hissed at him, feeling both cross and sick at the same time. How had this happened? I was meant to have told him a long time ago, that's how. He seemed to be listening now. "This is not the time." Ever, I said to myself.  
  
  
  
"Of course it's the time it's the perfect time. Buffy."  
  
  
  
"Don't say it." I told him. I caught Faith's eye and only a little humour remained in evidence, she was no doubt thinking the same as me.  
  
Of course, Riley took absolutely no notice of me, or the icy glace he was now receiving, and ploughed on.  
  
"Will you marry me?" I heard several women sigh, having no grasp of the true situation. I was sure if they did they would have understood my next actions. That was unless they happened to be corn-fed Iowa girls who might actually like Riley. I said might!  
  
  
  
I was still very angry with him, he really was exasperating, completely hopeless. And then I took a step back, figuratively speaking and saw just how funny the situation had become. It was almost comical, no wonder I'd thought we looked like some soap cast dressed in formal wear.  
  
Here was my pathetic very ex-boyfriend who thinks we're still together who is currently proposing while I'm about to tell him where to go and we're at a formal Christmas Ball surrounded by hundreds of people, many of whom seem to be watching in rapt silence, or almost silence since they were twittering between themselves while watching us. And I almost couldn't contain the laughter. It was so difficult to stifle it but I managed somehow and when I looked at Faith I could tell she was also trying not to laugh, taking her cue from me. I was certain if I'd been in hysterics she would have been as well.  
  
  
  
"Riley, I'm sorry but I can't marry you. I don't know how you can ask me that." I told him simply, while I maintained a somewhat sympathetic expression. He looked confused and hurt.  
  
  
  
"I don't understand. Why can't you marry me?" He sounded genuinely confused and it took all my will power to stay cool.  
  
Before I could answer though I thought I'd try to get rid of most of our audience, I had never liked talking in public and this was almost as bad. I held my hand up and turned to the nosy individuals who were still watching us.  
  
"I'm sorry but this is none of your business so could you please go away." And thankfully they did having remembered that they were actually at a Christmas Ball and not watching a soap opera on TV. They started to move back to their dancing or networking or whatever.  
  
"Right." I said ready to get to the point. I turned back to Riley and his confusion.  
  
  
  
"Riley, I can't marry you because we aren't together, we haven't been together for a very long time." I gave him a slight smile hoping he would try to understand. He looked confused and it wasn't the first occasion I'd wondered how the heck he'd got into college.  
  
He was shaking his head.  
  
  
  
"We haven't been together? Of course we have, we've been together for six years, exactly six years."  
  
  
  
Oh shit. That was my reaction to his response. It sounded like he honestly thought we'd been together all this time. Was he temporarily deaf on certain occasions when he was hearing things he didn't want to hear? For example when I broke up with him that time. He was obviously devoid of any common sense as well since he ignored the too numerous to mention times when it was very evident I didn't want him around. Also, I wondered if he had ever thought it was strange that we hadn't kissed for five years, or, for that matter, had sex at all. He must really think I'm a virgin who's waiting for my wedding night. Boy, was he way off. He was so way beyond clueless about so many things it was sad.  
  
I took a deep breath.  
  
"Riley, I need to you listen, and listen good, you are not going to ignore me this time or go conveniently deaf or stupid because you will understand me." He nodded slowly when he saw I was serious.  
  
"I broke up with you more than five years ago and though you may have been hanging around me since then it does not mean I wanted you to be there." He seemed to be shaking his head.  
  
"You were upset about your mother." He stated as if it explained everything.  
  
"No. I mean of course I was upset after mom died but it wasn't the reason I dumped you." He didn't look like he liked the word dumped. "I was going to do it when I was still at college but then she got sick, if I'd have known you weren't going to take me seriously I would have done it when I first thought of it."  
  
He didn't look very pleased now. His expression was getting increasingly dark as the seconds ticked by. Another minute went by without either one of us saying anything.  
  
"You aren't joking are you?" He asked looking mad now. He was finally getting it.  
  
"No. I'm not. This is how it is. How it should have been."  
  
"You led me on." He said glowering at us as Faith moved to my side to support me.  
  
"I did no such thing. You chose to ignore I didn't want you around. I don't want to blame you but it is not my fault. All I can be held responsible for is not telling you until you understood. I didn't want to hurt you. I assumed you would get the hints, apparently they weren't obvious enough."  
  
As I said this last bit he grabbed my arm, he looked very angry now.  
  
"Get off me." I told him and he actually noticed the warning that now edged my voice. I pulled away from him regaining both my personal space and a brand new determination to finish this.  
  
"Buffy, I'm sorry, um, are you sure there's no way." We both glared at him and he backed away looking pathetic again.  
  
"I don't want to see you again." I told him.  
  
And though I could see he was coming over all angry again, he turned and walked out without another word.  
  
Faith and I only had to look at each other and we collapsed into a giggly hug.  
  
"Thank god for that." Faith said before I could.  
  
Looking around a second later it was strange to imagine the scene had just taken place. Only a few people seemed to be aware it had happened at all, I'm sure that wasn't true. It would probably provide gossip fodder for them for the next few months.  
  
I wondered whether it was worth staying any longer. I wasn't sure there was anything I could do to redeem the evening in my memory and I predicted that it would always be tainted with the whole, Riley finally getting a clue situation.  
  
  
  
"You want to get a drink before we go?" Faith asked me almost reading my mind.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, come on, lets see if I can't try to forget what just happened."  
  
  
  
We had several more drinks at the bar and then at a similar looking one down the street. It could have been similar looking, I had, had some drinks. We had some fun before we headed home, leaving Faith's date at the ball. I think she liked him but she was all for not showing too much enthusiasm.  
  
Of course, it had seemed like fun through the drink-induced haze but facing the reality of the situation in the morning was not. Note to self, when drinking I suppose we should remember we're relatively small people and it only takes a few drinks before we're totally wasted, instead of being mindless and fancy free of any rational thought and ending up with huge hangovers.  
  
I spent the day, or what was left of it when we managed to crawl our way out of our beds, nursing a terrible headache that got upgraded to migraine as I thought about Angel. It was a very good thing that he hadn't been at the ball because I wouldn't have wanted him to witness that scene with Riley and me. Then there were way too many fantasy's going around my head that included Angel saving me from Riley in various ways. Okay I've got to snap out of it. Something Faith told me when she saw my expression and knew it was all about Angel, again. At least I had another day to recover before I had to go into work and deal with other people's problems.  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile a not so different situation was going on in a different part of town where Angel was nursing a similar hangover after an overindulgence of alcohol the night before. Doyle who, in his usual manner had also drunk more than he should have done hadn't helped. It wouldn't have been such a bad problem if he hadn't been over thinking as his per usual.  
  
  
  
The ball hadn't started well, he'd been having a boring time, it wasn't unexpected since he hadn't had a date to go with and his only company had been Doyle. This would probably not have been so bad if Doyle hadn't insisted on trying to chat up women on both his and Angel's behalf. For one thing, Angel knew that if he'd wanted to chat up some women he would have done a much better job than his part Irish friend. But then, that was Doyle; it was impossible to stop him. He didn't let Cordelia's rejection get to him like Angel let the ever-illusive Buffy do.  
  
The evening had, if possible, heightened his obsession with finding her. On the way to have their meal at the ball a small blonde woman who was being pulled by her much larger boyfriend had nearly mowed down Doyle and they had almost knocked Angel down as well. From the expression Doyle had caught she hadn't looked very happy about it and had immediately begun to apologise to them only to be pulled further along and to disappear from view.  
  
It wasn't that in itself that triggered the massive Buffy brood it was the fact that Doyle had told him that he'd glimpsed her for a second standing stock-still and staring in their direction saying something Doyle had sworn was 'Angel'. And then she was gone.  
  
When he'd told Angel about this it he had looked around like a man possessed but the number of people still moving around had obstructed his view and any chance of seeing her. He was convinced it had been Buffy, or at least, he had been, he'd then realised how stupid it had been to think it had been her. It was so unlikely.  
  
It was a while before he stopped looking around for her and the more likely explanation, that she wasn't there, won over. Though there was a niggling thought that wouldn't go away that told him she could have been here and that there were was a family connection or something. He didn't think that it was her parents, especially since he wasn't sure what had happened with her mom, insert depressing reflection here, but then it hit him. He remembered something about her sister being a cop. That would make her presence at the ball much more likely.  
  
And it was then that Doyle had returned to the bar nearly breathless as if he'd meant to run.  
  
  
  
"Angel man, I think she's here." Angel had looked at him questioningly for a second but he didn't need any more persuasion that Doyle had meant Buffy. He'd got up quickly but Doyle told him to slow down.  
  
  
  
"I've got to see her, how do you know it's her?"  
  
  
  
"I know because the guy she's with said 'Buffy'" That stopped Angel in his tracks.  
  
  
  
"The guy she was with?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah. This is the thing man, this guy, he looked like he was.proposing." He left the word hanging.  
  
  
  
"Proposing?" The word almost tore through him as he said it. Why hadn't he prepared himself for this? Prepared for the possibility that she was already with someone, a possibility that was completely believable considering her beauty and the fact that she was, well Buffy. He knew he should have thought about it and he had but it was a thought he had been glad to discard. It had been much more inspiring to fantasise about sweeping Buffy off her feet without so much as a millisecond of concern about her status in reality.  
  
  
  
He had stood there for another minute before he decided he had to see if it was really her, whatever the circumstance, he had to know.  
  
  
  
"I need to see her." And they began walking towards the ballroom itself.  
  
  
  
"There was quite a crowd when I left, quite the regular spectacle it was." All the reply he'd got was a bit of a grunt, evidently unappreciative of Doyle's comments.  
  
  
  
A minute later they got to the spot Doyle claimed to have seen her.  
  
  
  
"Well, where is she?" Angel had asked exasperated.  
  
  
  
"She was here man." Doyle had been so sure, especially with his belief that there wasn't another person called Buffy, at least in LA. He asked someone standing nearby. "Did you see a small blonde here a minute ago, she was with her boyfriend, and he was kneeling down?" Fortunately this girl was very pleased to share what she'd seen.  
  
  
  
"Oh yes, we saw everything, I mean, the girl told us to mind our own business but we still saw it all."  
  
  
  
"And?" Angel had asked, the girl didn't look too pleased but went on anyway, obviously open to any excuse for a gossip.  
  
  
  
"Well, her boyfriend proposed, it was so romantic, and he was yummy, anyway, she told him no. She refused him, it was very sad. I mean I didn't hear everything."  
  
  
  
"She said no?" Angel interrupted her, clinging to a little hope.  
  
  
  
"Yes, she said no." She had continued, annoyed again. "Like I was saying, I didn't hear everything but the guy got really mad and then he left." She told Doyle, ignoring Angel completely.  
  
  
  
"Where did the girl go?" Doyle asked on Angel's behalf.  
  
  
  
"Oh, she and this other girl left like, after the guy did, after they were done laughing. I didn't see where."  
  
  
  
"Thanks. Is there anything else you remember?" Doyle asked flashing his best smile at her. She seemed to think for a second.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, she had a really weird name, Buffy I think." She said batting her eyes at Doyle.  
  
  
  
Angel had gone into deep introspective mode when he knew it had been Buffy.  
  
  
  
"Okay man, do you want to leave now, since she's gone?" He asked back from his conversation with the gossip.  
  
  
  
"Yeah okay, what took you so long anyway?"  
  
  
  
"She gave me her number."  
  
  
  
"Lucky you." He said sarcastically.  
  
  
  
"You found her then?"  
  
  
  
Yeah, he'd finally found her, only to have got there a minute too late to actually see her. The headache wasn't getting any better. But it didn't matter; he finally had something to go on. He knew she'd been at the ball and presumed she'd been there with her sister, Faith, who was a cop. It wasn't a huge leap. So he knew her sisters name and could search the LAPD for a cop named Faith. That idea alone made it possible for him to wait another day until he was at work so he could make the call.  
  
He was still clinging to the hope he'd been given knowing that Buffy had said no to her boyfriends proposal. He had no idea why she had said no or what was going on there but the important thing was, she'd said no. The rest was details. He hoped.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I'd love some feedback guys! Please? 


	5. Surprise!

Hey everyone, so here I am, finally back and here's a celebratory chapter for my finishing my degree! Yay!  
  
Feedback is as always.loved.  
  
5. Surprise!  
  
As it happened things didn't go exactly to Angel's plan, but then, when did they ever?  
  
It was Monday morning, and by the time Angel had spent two minutes at work he knew he wouldn't have time to breathe around his schedule, let alone make one phone call to the LAPD.  
  
He had meeting after meeting with a load of different people, lawyers, partners, staff, and others besides, it wasn't surprising that Angel was all but resigned to leaving the call for another twenty-fours hours or so. He'd waited over five years to see Buffy again, he supposed that waiting another day probably wouldn't kill him, though it pissed him off that he knew how to find her and couldn't just because of his stupid job.  
  
Though that wasn't right, it wasn't a stupid job, being a lawyer was all he'd wanted, and now he was on the verge of partnership and he really couldn't afford to be complaining about his work. He shrugged to himself as Cordelia announced a DA he had to 'discuss' a case with. He just hoped it would be more civilised than their last discussion. Saying that they had disagreed would be an understatement.  
  
And so the meetings began. And they went on and on. At times Angel found it hard to remember what he was talking about because the image of meeting Buffy again kept popping into his head and was distracting. But he did try his best, honestly! At least, that's what he told himself.  
  
Buffy  
  
I woke up to an empty house on Monday which wasn't unusual since Faith often went on her shift very early, that or very late, I smiled, Faith always did everything in its extremes. Mondays weren't generally very busy as my practice was closed and it was normally a day reserved for non private clients. This particular Monday held just one meeting concerning a patient and their court case and an afternoon of mocha's and girly stuff with Willow, my best friend since high school.  
  
Most of my thoughts were on our trip to Boston at the end of the week so that we could spend Christmas with Dawn. I still needed to pack and knew it wouldn't be a simple task, this is one thing that Faith and I differ on, Faith is able to pack in five minutes with a small suitcase and me, well I know that I'm incapable of travelling light. Faith loves to rib me about it but I justify it by explaining that I need a good choice of clothes when I'm away from home.  
  
Besides I still had some work to do before the holiday break, having appointments with patients on Tuesday and Wednesday and this meeting.  
  
If I was honest, I'd just as soon ignore the morning meeting and just go straight to the fun afternoon but unfortunately I knew I couldn't. I was often called in by various firms to assess their clients for court cases and had an obligation to them. I enjoy my job but it's just the non- psychological aspect of it, including tedious meetings and stuff that gets a bit annoying, though I suppose they are as important as the rest of it. At least I'll have a good afternoon, I was eager to get the meeting out of the way.  
  
I walked towards the receptionist's desk and told the girl, called Cordelia, that I was here to see Mr O'Connor. It probably wasn't going to be any different from the other court cases that I'd been called in on. Most of them were for me to assess a patient for the court or the lawyers. I hadn't worked with this particular firm before and knew that it was probably because I was younger and others had more experience in this area and this looked like a significant firm. I guess they couldn't get anyone else this close to the holidays.  
  
"Ms Summers, Mr O'Connor is ready to see you now." How nice of him! Twenty minutes late as well. Oh well, I think all lawyers are like that, the rich ones at the very least expect you to be at their beck and call. I hope this won't take too long; I've got to meet Willow in a while.  
  
I walked into a lavishly decorated office to find that Mr O'Connor was having a phone conversation with his chair and back to me. Yeah he's ready to see me alright! I guess I'll have to wait again, and listen to the backend of his conversation.  
  
"Yeah Kathy I know okay? I know," He slowly turned in his chair and for a second I thought I was going crazy. And then he'd turned around completely and I knew I wasn't mad. It was him! I looked at him with a mixture of confusion and excitement while trying to stay calm and collected. It wasn't as if he'd spent the last five years obsessing over me. Unfortunately that didn't stop an "Oh my god." Escaping from my lips and he looked up still listening on the phone. He didn't appear to have recognised me but then he looked at me again and stared as if his eyes were boring through me. "Yeah, I'll see you later Kat, bye." After another second of him staring and me feeling like this was a very weird way to start a meeting he seemed to remember himself.  
  
"Hi." Was all he said and I couldn't actually think of anything better.  
  
"Hi." Okay so this was getting weirder by the second, here was I attempting to pretend his presence wasn't affecting me, which wasn't helped by his lack of articulation.  
  
"It's you." Was all he said next and then, "Buffy?" I took the opportunity to take the conversation forward as it wasn't going anywhere very fast.  
  
"Yeah, hi, do you remember me?" I asked after another second of almost gawking, it was inevitable really.  
  
"Of course I do, you remember me then?" I nodded as he indicated for me to sit down.  
  
"Yes I do." I never knew I was good at acting, my face portraying none of the cartwheels that my stupid romantic heart was doing. He's probably not interested; don't get your hopes up, though while I thought this, my eyes scanned his hands. No rings. And there went my heart again. But that didn't really mean anything. I really should get back to the point of why I was here; this was taking too long already, my head thought practically though I think my heart just wanted me to sit there drinking in his gorgeous features. Hmmm no harm in doing a little of that while I'm sat here though, I grinned inwardly.  
  
"We have a meeting." I said eventually. He creased his brow as if he'd forgotten somehow. Was I distracting him? He looked at his computer and scanned his schedule.  
  
"I have a meeting with Elizabeth Summers." I smiled, he was confused, not that I wasn't but, he was so cute when he was confused. I smiled.  
  
"That's me." He looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes and I fell in love again. Don't be ridiculous Buffy, you don't know him, my head started saying while my heart told it to shut up. It knew otherwise.  
  
"I thought you said your name was Buffy?" He really remembered me, maybe this was meant to be. Stop it, you're kidding yourself.  
  
"I'm surprised you even remember but yes my name is Buffy, its Buffy for short." He nodded and sat down himself though he was still looking at me.  
  
"Ah, explains that then," He said quietly. I suddenly remembered his name again.  
  
"What about you? Mr Liam O'Connor, wasn't it Angel?" I asked him what I'd been wondering. He smiled slightly, though he didn't look amused.  
  
"Well, my name is Liam Angelus and I only really use Liam at work. Don't know what my parents were thinking with calling me Angel, I think mom thought it was cute." I smiled. "What?"  
  
"Well, I think it is cute." I told him.  
  
"Yeah, maybe it is, for a girl." I smiled; in fact I don't think I could stop. "See?" He said after my subsequent silence.  
  
There was an odd few seconds of silence where I watched him and he seemed to do the same with me but neither of us said anything. I remembered the reason for me being here and considered his job at this firm. He was obviously doing very well, this was a prominent law firm and the decoration of his office only emphasised this.  
  
"Do you think we should talk about the case?" I asked him.  
  
"Oh, yes, yes of course." And he started collecting various papers from his files and we had what would have otherwise been a normal meeting, aside from this being Angel. Angel! And the small glances I stole at him several times. Was he always this cute? And from what I could see he definitely worked out, yum! Okay, I think I should try to concentrate on the papers in front of me.  
  
Angel  
  
'It's Buffy!' was the almost constant scream that threatened to escape from me as we sat there. I wonder what she's thinking. Well, it might be the case you're both meant to be thinking about, duh! I just couldn't help looking at her, though I tried to avoid openly staring at her, even though she was so beautiful. This is my chance, there's got to be reason, maybe this is fate and we are meant to be together. I can't let this chance go. I just need to keep my cool.  
  
Buffy  
  
When the meeting was over I took my notes and new file and got up, shaking his hand. I really didn't want to let go, I wonder if he's seeing anyone? Yeah, that wasn't a random thought was it?  
  
"It was nice to see you again Buffy." He said sincerely, smiling though he didn't seem to be particularly thrilled, maybe it was me. He obviously hadn't been pining over the plane ride for five years.  
  
"Yes, it was good to see you too." I said a little disappointed.  
  
"Bye." I started towards the door with my mind a mess of indecision. You should ask him out! This is your chance! Don't be so stupid, he won't want to! Too many parts of me telling me different things, I'd made up my mind on my own and I was about to turn around, decision decided when he called after me.  
  
"Buffy wait!" It's cliché to say but my heart leapt, I hoped it would be one of those moments, he would ask me out. So I was disappointed when I turned round and saw him standing there with my bag. Of course, I'd been too busy thinking about him to remember to take it with me, which made me look like the dizzy blonde that everyone expects.  
  
"Oh, thanks, my mind must have been somewhere else." I admitted though not that the somewhere else was him.  
  
"No problem." This time my heart felt like it seeped out of my feet into the floor and I tried to look neutral and not disappointed as I turned to go again. I'd probably get home and hate myself for not asking him out.  
  
"Buffy," I heard him say when I was almost at the door, great, what exactly had I stupidly left behind now? I turned.  
  
"Yes?" He looked down for a second; odd, I could have sworn he looked nervous which was again, cute; I tried not to get my hopes up. Who the hell was I trying to kid? Hello, this is Angel!  
  
"Would you like," He paused, swallowing, and my stupid heart was jumping about, "Would you like, to go out sometime? I mean." He seemed to stumble for words so I quickly told him, trying not to start jumping about in the same fashion as my heart was doing.  
  
"Yes, I'd like that." And he grinned at me. He'd actually asked me, he asked me out. I wondered whether he remembered our flight as much as I had.  
  
"How about going out Friday?" He asked still smiling, my smile however quickly disappeared. Shit!  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'd love to but I can't." He looked disappointed and the great grin had gone.  
  
"That's okay, maybe." I thought I'd better explain.  
  
"Its just Faith and I are flying out to Boston on Friday; I'd love to go out otherwise." He smiled, looking as relieved as I was.  
  
"You're flying to Boston with your sister?" He asked while I silently reflected that he had a great memory.  
  
"Yeah, you have a good memory," He smiled lightly,  
  
"Not really, only with certain things, certain people, people that are worth remembering." I smiled, how could I not smile? That has got to be one of the nicest things someone has said to me, or a guy has said to me. I think I'm grinning like an idiot here but I don't think he minds. This is like one of my dreams, he likes me, I like him, must be fate after all.  
  
"Thanks, well yeah, we're going over to spend Christmas with Dawn. She's at Harvard Law now." I smiled proudly; I seemed to really love to tell people that.  
  
"That's great, but since you're going to be in Boston," He paused, obviously thinking.  
  
"Yeah, maybe when I come back after Christmas, we figure Dawn will want to be partying it up with her friends over New Year, so we're coming back before then."  
  
"We could do that or we could go out before you go, maybe tomorrow, if you're not busy." He added quickly. Well, he definitely gets points for eagerness.  
  
"I'm not busy, that would be nice." How have I maintained this calm façade? I shouldn't ask really, just be grateful for small mercies!  
  
"Okay then, I'll call you later." Am I dreaming? I'm probably still waiting to see that lawyer and I've drifted to sleep. Nope I'm not, did I really have to pinch myself though?  
  
"You've got my card. Bye Angel." I told him before I walked out, not before time; my legs were officially of the jelly variety by the end of that conversation, I doubt I'd have held out much longer, but then I could have fell into his arms. His strong well-defined arms, okay get a grip. I have a date, and this isn't just any, it's with Angel! I can't wait to tell Willow and Faith. A date with Angel, what am I going to wear?  
  
Angel  
  
I have a date with Buffy, she's still so beautiful, even more so than I remember. I've got to tell someone.  
  
Things may not have gone to plan, but as it turned out, things turned out better than that.  
  
Tbc  
  
Not the end!  
  
Feedback please...and I'll get to the next chapter as soon as I can, hint, the more feedback, the quicker I will be.  
  
Becca. 


	6. Just a Date

Helloooo anyone there? _Blows dust off story file_ I've finally updated, and I'm hoping to keep it up this time round. Please review, I'll love ya for it!

* * *

6. Just a Date

How did that happen? It was so quick. I've got a date with Angel, the guy I've been, in Faith's opinion 'obsessing' over for the last five years, I suddenly stumble over at an ordinary meeting.

And I have a date with him.

How again?

As much as I tried, it was hard not to think that fate had had something to do with our meeting again. I tried to ignore the part of me that was telling me this and instead aimed to think of it as luck. It was simple luck and I was simply going to be taking advantage of that and not of a chance that fate had thrown my way, our way, as hard as it was. Despite this I spent much of my drive home imagining several different scenarios, okay fantasies, all starring Angel and myself which all gave me that familiar or long since familiar feeling in my heart. It was a wonderful feeling.

It was just a date.

Yeah right.

When Faith arrived from off her shift later that night she immediately knew something was up with me. Of course, my five-mile wide grin could have given it away. And I was dying to tell her anyway.

"Something's up with you; spill it." She demanded as she dumped herself down at the kitchen table in a gesture that told me she was very tired.

"Well, it's just that I've got a date tomorrow, that's all really." I said, pretending it was no big deal, my voice the utter reflection of calmness and poise. How the heck I managed that I have no idea. Faith's eyes almost popped out of her head at my casual confession and despite her tiredness and usually cool exterior she managed to jump out of her chair and bounded up to me acting nothing like our age, not that we ever did.

"You're kidding! You're not kidding! Oh my god! How did this happen? Who is he? What's he like? How did this happen?" She shot these questions at me without taking breath and I could barely contain my excitement with her being all manic jumpy gal. I gave her a Cheshire like grin and almost bounded around the room with her, I know my heart already was doing.

"Maybe you should breathe a little, and I'll tell you."

"Come on then, spill it!"

"Well, I met him at the firm that I had an appointment with this morning, he was actually the lawyer I met with." I loved being able to drag this out, though I could barely restrain myself at this point. The idea of shouting 'I have a date with Angel', from the rooftops seemed to be appropriate to how I was feeling.

"He's a lawyer? Well I guess you don't have to hold it against him." I glared at her,

"I don't hold it against him, he loves his job, and who am I to comment?" At this Faith looked at me shrewdly.

"You sound like you're in love already." I smile, not able to contain it, or deny it,

"So?" I ask her as if falling in love in an hour is completely normal for me, or anyone, but I don't think this actually counts as I've been in love with Angel for 5 years. She looked a little confused,

"This coming from the obsessed girl who's been in love with some guy called Angel for five years and counting?" I smile and nod,

"Yep, pretty much," I tell her, oh I am evil really, she's gonna kill me when I tell her,

"Okay, something really weird is going on, you know that right?" I shrug and smile happily which seems to unnerve her even more, "Well, what's his name, this guy?"

"Oh, his name, it's Angel," I tell her very restrainedly since I actually want to jump around and shout it right now, while I walk casually out of the kitchen and into the living room.

I can almost hear the workings of Faith's brain just as she realises what I mean, even though she's still in the other room.

It therefore doesn't surprise me when I hear her yell,

"Angel!" Nor when she appears in the living room a split second later with a look of complete and utter disbelief on her face, that and shock.

I nod at her and we spin around the room like little kids before collapsing on the floor.

"Holy Shit B!" She says before asking, "How did this happen?" I roll my eyes at her in mock annoyance,

"I just told you!"

"No way! So the guy you went to have a meeting with was actually Angel? Wow, that's weird," She regarded me further, "Suppose you think its fate huh?" I shrug, not wanting to really admit that's what I was thinking, no matter, she knew me too well.

"I don't know what you mean." I attempted ignorance and she gave me a look that told me she didn't believe me for a second.

"Sure, okay, whatever you say B, when is it anyway?"

"It's tomorrow; think I'll wear that black dress I bought the other week."

"Yeah, looks like you've got a reason for getting dressed up now huh?" Apparently she couldn't help herself.

"Thank you yes I do." I couldn't hide my happiness, and I didn't care if she teased the crap out of me for months.

Angel

"What's goin on with you? You certainly look like you was the cat who got the cream." Doyle remarked as he sat himself at Angel's desk uninvited. It was several hours after his 'meeting' with Buffy and he still couldn't seem to wipe the look of crazied happiness off his face. His assistant Cordelia had been pretty freaked out by it and had gone off to gossip with the rest of the office busy bodies that Mr O'Connor had been manically happy and that she was starting to wonder if he could be bi-polar what with all the moods he seemed to have. Angel didn't even care that everyone was talking, all he cared about was that he'd found Buffy, or she'd found him, or maybe it was fate. Fate that he'd never believed in before. Whatever it was at that moment he only cared that he had found her and was going out with her tomorrow night. Now, if he could only summon the courage to call her and arrange to pick her up; he'd picked his favourite restaurant to take her too, he wanted everything to be perfect. He prayed to God that he didn't scare her off with his eagerness or anything. Somehow his attention was drawn back to Doyle who was still sitting in front of him.

"You alright man?" Saying it in a way that made it completely obvious he was starting to wonder if the office rumours were true.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Angel asked his face unable to hide his glee at today's events.

"Um, well, it's just that you're a little more, well, cheerful than you are usually." He said fairly reluctantly as if he was expecting Angel to get annoyed at him.

"Yep I am and I don't care who knows it!" He exclaimed, thinking that Doyle actually looked a bit scared, was it possible his friend had never seen him happy? That couldn't be right, but he didn't think that Doyle had seen him anywhere near this happy before so maybe his reaction was understandable. He was trying to work out a way of telling him just why he was so happy but each time he thought of something it just seemed a bit obvious and probably a bit evil on his part, especially if he drew it out. So he took the decision to come straight out with it.

"There's got to be a reason then?" Doyle asked, Angel grinned,

"I have a date with Buffy." Doyle looked at him a bit gone out, as if he hadn't heard properly,

"Buffy!" He coughed out, looking at Angel again, "You sure you okay?" That's great, thought Angel, he knew he didn't believe him.

"I'm fine," He replied a little annoyed, "I do have a date with Buffy and I won't let you bring me down."

"How'd that happen then?"

"She came here for a meeting, she's one of the psychologists for a case, I couldn't believe it Doyle, she was just standing just over there, and sat right there where you're sitting. She's still totally gorgeous and she actually agreed to go out with me!"

Doyle smiled slightly, looking torn between believing him and calling the men in white coats.

"I dunno man, seems a bit easy. You sure this happened?" The look he got made him rethink his statement. "Okay fine I believe ya!"

"You don't," Angle was fairly peed off that it took showing Doyle the security camera from the hall and the schedule on his computer before Doyle did actually believe him.

"Thank god Buffy is a nickname!" He joked; Angel just glared at him "I bet you like it huh?" The silence this was met with answered his question and he chuckled,

"So you actually managed to ask her out then?"

"Yes, thanks I did, I'm not incapable."

"Coulda fooled me," Doyle muttered to himself, Angel just threw a book at him in a typically mature move.

"She's going to Boston for Christmas so we're having dinner tomorrow night, and you'll have to excuse me because I'm calling her right now,"

Doyle didn't look very happy about not being included in this phone call but figured Angel would tell him everything later anyway. It still seemed unbelievable that Angel had found her but he was happy for him; he deserved it after all this time; now if he could just get Cordy to agree to go out with him.

Buffy

I was just finishing preparing dinner when the phone rang. Faith made a move to answer it before I almost knocked off her feet moving at lightening speed towards it.

"Don't you dare?" I told her on my way past, grinning Faith sat back down and pretended to continue to read her trashy magazine.

"Hello?" I said, hopeful

"Hi Buffy, its Angel," I smiled; wishing I could see his face.

"Hi Angel, how are you?" Yeah, great, couldn't I have thought of something better to say?

"I'm great, I booked us a table at The Vine for tomorrow at eight; shall I pick you up at seven thirty?"

"Oh I love The Vine, yes seven thirty is fine." Well, that's my favourite restaurant so definitely off to a good start. There was a slightly embarrassed silence; I didn't know what to say exactly, waiting for him to instead. I guess it's a bit difficult to vocalise 5 years worth of fantasies and thoughts about someone in a phone conversation.

"That's great then, I um, can't wait to see you," He admitted, I could almost see his face,

"Same here Angel, so I'll see you then, then?"

"Yeah I'll see you then honey, bye."

"Bye," I hung up and turned around smiling, to see Faith looking at me expectantly,

"Good I gather?" She asked,

"Very, we're going to The Vine," She nodded,

"Very cool, that's your fave isn't it?" My turn to nod, I did so, slowly, because something was just occurring to me. "What up B?" Faith asked, totally aware of my slightly changed train of thought. I looked at her, it dawning on me,

"Angel called me honey," and I couldn't even try to suppress the giddy-like giggle that escaped me.

……..tbc…

* * *

Right, how was that? Sorry to cut it short there, the next chapter will definitely be the date! I have a feeling a lot of that was a bit sickly sweet really. I better tone it down for their actual date else you lot (and probably me) might need to vomit, LOL, whoops, never mind, I just tried to imagine what it'd be like to meet the man of your dreams after 5 years and I just reckoned it would be very trippy-happy! I will probably want to flesh it out a bit, more of how Buffy is feeling but thought I'd post this and see how I go.

Please review though, know it's been ages, but give me a chance and I might actually manage to finish it this time! (Though obviously my 8 month old keeps me very busy!) I'll try my hardest to if I know people are reading it, so go on, and tell me what you think! You know you want to! 

Becca x


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